Devotional: Applying the Bible to my today.
Read: Psalm 139:1-18
No cell phone.
No social media.
No email.
No car.
500 miles from home.
What? Was I lost in the jungle or something? Nope. I simply went off to college in the 90s!
As we shipped our oldest son, Reese, off to college this past month, I’ve longed to connect with my parents, who have both been gone for many years. I have developed a new empathy for them as I reflect on their experience of dropping me off for my freshman year!
Need some tunes from the 90's? Listen here for one of the top hits from the summer I went off to college!
I was a first-generation college student, and I came from a family that generally did not scatter very far from one another. My decision to attend a school 500 miles from home was very hard on my parents, and I think they felt disconnected, as this was an adventure they could not fully relate to. Both of my parents came from homes where they had experienced abandonment, and this decision of mine looked and smelled a lot like that for them.
“Remember… getting a degree doesn’t make you better than anyone else.” These were my dad’s parting words as they left me on campus. I remember standing there alone as they drove away; my dad’s pickup drifting further and further into the distance. I held these words deep in my soul for decades as if they were the key to remaining a “Somerville.” Now, as I process his words, I hear something in their stead, “I hope we will always matter to you. I’m afraid I won’t be enough anymore.” … My parents did and have always mattered to me, and they were enough.
Although I often heard the fear in their voice and saw it in their actions, I’m grateful they didn’t let it override their willingness to launch me. I’m sure I felt so far away from them, in miles and in who I was and was becoming.
The day my parents drove away in August 1996... This picture was just after "The M Climb," a longstanding tradition where freshmen carry a 10lb rock up the mountain, and then wash the rocks and each other with white paint.
Now, here I am – full circle. A parent who has just launched their young-adult child.
“Mom and Dad, I know you can relate to what I'm going through with Reese. We’re no longer worlds apart, yet… we are worlds apart because you are having an experience that I can’t really relate to just yet - a real-life party in the Father’s house.”
No matter how far away we are from the ones we love in life or in death, and even when we feel alone in our dreams or fears, the Lord remains ever present and is deeply engaged in knowing and understanding us.
Move-in day for my son.
Psalm 139:2 reminds us that He knows when we sit down and stand up; maybe that sounds a little creepy, but not when you know the love, power, and might behind it all. He knew when my parents and now Ron and I sat down (or stood back) to let our child go, so He also knew our need for comfort, reassurance, and discernment in parenting young adults.
The Lord is also faithful to know when our child stood up (or took off in a flash)! “If [they] take the wings of the dawn, If [they] dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead [them]…” (Psalm 139:9-10).
And if and when any of us, parent or child, should fall because of our own doing or because of injustices or the hardships of this life, the Lord will still be light, ready to illuminate the path.
“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,' Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.” Psalm 139:11-12
Whether we are the one called to stay or the one called to go, we are not alone, nor are we left helpless. Friend, we have a God who is all-knowing, ever-present, and full of love and grace for every season. Blessings to you as you journey through whatever season you are currently in.
Father God, what a comfort to know that the God of the universe has us and those we love in His hands. I pray for every person reading this who feels far from someone they love, or who feels alone in their dreams and fears, that they may experience Your presence and goodness today. Amen.