One year ago today, September 19, 2012, God placed our child-to-be on my heart! I am telling you this story at the risk of you thinking I am crazy. You probably already think I’m crazy, so I might as well tell you!
I sat in my chair reading my Bible in the wee hours of the morning. It was just the Lord and I as everyone was still sleeping. Romans 8 was the reading for the day, and I came to verse 15, which I’ve read many times – I have it highlighted and underlined in my Bible.
Typically, this verse is very personal to me, my fear, and my adoption into God’s family, but not this day. As I read this verse, I was physically pulled out of my chair; knees on the ground. A sense of deep grief came over me as I had a vision of thousands of children (mostly middle – high school aged) standing, facing this giant wall.
Their hands were folded as if they wanted to pray, but the wall was so huge that they couldn’t see anything before them, and it was so tall that they couldn’t see anything above them. I somehow knew that these children were orphans, and, because of this giant wall standing before them, they were having difficulty seeing God; there fear was so great, and the words “Abba! Father!” could not come out of their mouths.
My mind paused with this picture in sight. Then I heard these words in my spirit, “You have an opportunity.”
What was I suppose to do now? God did not specifically tell me that our family was to adopt, only that we “have an opportunity.” I immediately started pursuing answers to a million questions I had for Him. How do I tell Ron, are you calling us to adopt or just “get involved”, if adoption – where is our child (US or someplace else), how old is our child, do we choose disability or no disability? My whole life changed in an instant, which often seems to be the case when I “hear” God speak to me.
I held onto this news for several weeks before I shared with my husband as I wanted to pray about it and better understand what I was told. I didn’t want Ron to feel forced into the decision. Our discussions lasted several weeks before God clearly revealed to Ron also what he had revealed to me.
We now have a picture of our little boy (“HC”) in hand (and he’ll hopefully be in our home by next summer). I’m blown away by the privilege that lies before us – that Ron, Reese and I get to be his family. It is a beautiful picture that God has painted for us… there is no reason for fear, we have all been given the opportunity to be adopted for all eternity.
I am grateful He has given me a long-term vision for HC’s life, but do I realize that He has a plan for all of us… all of our children (Ephesians 2:10)? I am praying that as I parent Reese and HC, that I will see and adopt His vision/plans that He has for our boys – not just rely on my own hopes, dreams and expectations. It is my own thoughts and expectations that create fear; when I rely on something that I know is His idea/plan, all fear is washed away.
- Have you ever asked God for a vision of His plan for your child? Did you learn anything? (BTW, I’ve never received such a clear view for Reese, so this is not a measure of spirituality… just giving you something to consider.)
- How does this picture change your view of your child’s future? How does it impact your parenting?
Dear Heavenly Father:
To know that I have been rescued for all of eternity by a merciful, all loving, generous, mighty Father is the most exciting thing I can imagine. What a calm and peace You bring to my soul. You have chosen Ron, Reese and me. You have already pulled Livvy and Elliot to Your side, and You are continuing to prepare HC for this home. Thank You that I have no reason to fear or worry. This life is so temporary, so all that I must go through and sacrifice here is well worth eternity with You. – Amen