Dear Mom:
May 25th… Your birthday. I’m never quite sure what to do with this day since you have passed from this life.
I’ve missed you since the day you passed away, but I have had such a longing to share with you in our adoption journey. Your heart was always for the child in need… I admired that about you. While we traveled to Asia for our court hearing and to meet HC a few weeks ago – everything I saw reminded me of you. You would have loved it there… the people, the history, the adventure of it all. You would have insisted on hearing every detail of the trip. We have so many people loving us through this adventure, but I know you would have been one of our greatest cheerleaders through it all. I so miss not getting to share in this with you.
A memory of you that has been standing out in my mind recently is when I was in 8th grade. Both Briana and I were grounded (rightfully so, I’m sure), so I was grumpy and expected a boring, pathetic day. Instead you took both of us to town, and we had a day together – we went shopping and had lunch at Olive Garden. There was no fighting, arguing, etc. that day – which was unheard of at that time in my life. I remember thinking, “Wow, this is great… maybe I should get grounded more often so that we can always have this much fun!”. This was actually such a good lesson in grace. I still experienced the consequences of my sin… separation from my friends and all my plans, but yet you received me, forgave me and blessed me in a way that I didn’t deserve. Thank you for that lesson.
You were not perfect in your parenting – and that’s okay because for every weakness that you had, God taught me, molded and shaped me, and provided all that I needed in a variety of other ways. This has given me confidence in my own parenting… I do not have to fret over being perfect; God knows my imperfections. I will seek Him, and He will provide things for my children in ways that I could not have imagined.
So, on this day, I want to tell you that I miss you terribly, but I am also so thankful that you do not have to struggle with the pains and suffering you experienced especially the last 10 years of your life. Though I want to share in our adoption story, you are living the life of the best adoption story ever – as God has adopted and received you into His Kingdom. I will see you again some day. I love you and am grateful for you from the very depths of my heart.
Love,
Halee
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| My college graduation – Dad, Mom, me and my brother Jason |