Tongue Twister With A Twist


Watch the video to ponder the question “to should or not to should?” Then read more below to dig a little deeper and make it practical!


Read: Ephesians 4:25-32


Before opening your mouth to “should” someone or entire people groups (i.e. someone of a specific race/nationality, religion, age, weight, income, etc.), consider these tips that I am personally trying to follow:

  1. First spend time listening and connecting. Choosing to creatively connect can often soften a person’s heart; it can even soften the heart of the one doing the confronting.
  2. Prayerfully assess your attitude and motive, and consider whether this your opinion or an definitive “should”? If it’s an opinion, it’s possible you don’t need to say anything.
  3. If you must “should” someone, act with humility, love and grace. This doesn’t guarantee it will be well received, but it certainly makes it more likely.
  4. Is it necessary to use the word “should”, or is there another route to get the same point across?
  5. Every “should” need not be followed by a lecture even if you don’t get the response you desire.

Opinionated “shoulds” have to ability to scar, but necessary “shoulds” coated with humility, grace and connection instill life.


  • Who are you most likely to “should” all over?
  • What impact has “shoulding” had in your life? Has someone connected with you rather than “should” on you?
  • Do you have any additional tips/thoughts?

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