It was Oct 20, 2011...
Wait, wait! I can't start the story on that date, or you'll never fully understand.
It is October 2020, I am full of such joy that is contagious to some and nails on a chalkboard to others. There is a giddiness within my spirit because I had no idea that the days of this life could be so full and rich. I was an engineer most of my adult life, which I really enjoyed, but I never had a vision, even an inkling of a thought, that I'd be serving as a teacher/speaker and life coach to creatively assist men and women to bring clarity to and attain the hopes and dreams put on their hearts by God. To top it off, I work very closely with my husband. This may sound excruciating to some, but there is not a teammate in this world which could more adequately compliment my strengths and weaknesses, especially as we do coaching/counseling together with other couples. What a contrast to my days of engineering and especially my days of grief just a few years ago.
Going back in time, and a little closer to when today's story took place... December 2011 to July 2012 - Our son Elliot passed away, I had a tumor requiring an in-depth procedure and months of recovery, my mom died, and I resigned my position as site manager with my company because I felt inadequate to lead in my physical and emotional condition... These days began the intermingling of some of my frailest moments with strength and beauty that could not exist without the power of something much greater than myself.
Each morning, my brokenness and prayers flowed from my heart and out through my pen onto paper. This is a practice I began long before Elliot passed, and it is one I hold tightly to today. The cabinet is stacked with one notebook after another. The kinesthetics of holding the Bible in my lap and pen in my hand somehow wipes all the distractions away and sits me squarely at the feet of Jesus... day after day. Because my husband Ron utilizes pen and paper only for creating practical lists, it is guaranteed that anything juicy and hand-written in this house has come from me. It was these prayers, I believed, that carried me and made me whole again following the grief that began on December 2011.
Rummaging through the bookshelf a few days ago, I came across a handwritten note tucked away in a book that abruptly caused me to pause. It was dated two months prior to our son's passing, and it was not in my handwriting, but in Ron's - yet Ron has no recollection of writing it.
This is today's story:
I have once again been given evidence that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us even before we know our own needs, and God's plans for restoration begin long before we know we need restoring. Ron's words sound almost prophetic, as he had no idea what was coming and we had nothing spectacular happening in our lives on the day he wrote this letter. God did and continues to do a marvelous work.
"It is now October 20, 2011. 10:03pm. I'm writing this down because I want to be able to tell my children and anyone else who will listen about what God has done for our family. As it stands right now, I've taken a new job that starts November 1st, and Halee is continuing to work until our baby is due in a few months... I have no idea where this career change will take us. One thing I know, God knows exactly where He is taking us. I am fully trusting that He will see us through... and He will provide for us in ways that only He can.
Things will happen in our lives that only He can do, and people will be amazed. Someday I will look back on this moment and be moved to tears by the realization that God has done and continues to do a marvelous work in our lives. It will be clear that what has happened and what continues to happen could only be the result of God's hand.
Right now we are in the middle of a move of God, and I am excited and fearful. I pray that as we move forward, God will remove my fears and help me to walk boldly forth in His good and perfect will. Praise God from whom all blessings flow." - Ron Wood